How To Meet Rich Men – Luckily it’s been well received and people are very interested in what my subjects have to say, but this is the most common question
A plan you can use to make “impossible” connections, whether it’s potential employers, investors, clients, or any other great opportunity.
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Most portholes are very busy. Every day they receive multiple requests for interviews, appearances, new business opportunities, charity functions, not to mention career, family and personal life commitments. It is understood that there are simply not enough hours in the day to say yes to everything. And really not.
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If you’re not a big name or have nothing to offer, accept that you’re not on anyone’s priority list.
Know that you can lead the horse to the water, but the biggest hurdle is making sure the horse knows the water is in front of his face.
I contacted Leslie Moonves, president and CEO of CBS: My best friend’s husband had a friend who worked at CBS and wanted to put me in touch with Moonves’ assistant. An assistant who works closely with him every day made sure to see my request.
If you don’t have a connection (and most of the time I don’t), here are a few ways to get your request noticed.
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Make yourself as human as possible – the less human you appear, the easier it is to be rejected.
Asking in person is the best way; so clearly you are human. (It’s much easier to say no to an email or a tweet face-to-face.) If you can find a way to avoid stalking your target, try to do so—like at a party or event. But don’t annoy or take up too much of your target’s time. I usually introduce myself, say a sentence or two, and then ask who I should be contacting specifically. Light usually gives me the name of the point person; then I will contact that person as soon as possible.
Example: I sent several inquiries to the office of artist Jeff Koons and did not receive a response. Then I happened to see Koons at an art event in New York. I went straight to him, told him about my book and that I had already contacted his office with no success – so I had to know exactly who to contact. Koons gave me the name, and the next morning I wrote to this person something like this: “We met with Jeff last night. We briefly discussed his involvement in my upcoming book, and he told me to contact you about the details.
I got Chef Daniel Boulud and Warren Buffett to participate in a similar fashion. This article describes how I asked Buffett.
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If you can’t ask in person—and you usually can’t—try contacting someone who can (your target’s publicist, assistant, etc.).
Always use the name of the person you are communicating with as it creates a more personal connection. If you don’t have the person’s name, ask for it. Addressing a letter to a specific person instead of “to whom it may concern” makes it a little harder for the recipient to ignore.
This is how I got the Nobel laureate Muhammad Yunus to participate: I once had lunch with a woman who is a friend of Yunus’s daughter. He tried to contact his office on my behalf as an introduction, but was ignored. When I came up with Plan B with him, he told me that Yunus was in town and gave a speech at a hotel. I peeked into the lobby while she finished, proposed, followed her to the cab and took a picture in case she finally agreed
(He lives in Bangladesh, after all.) I then spent over a year and a half chasing him down to get a phone interview, bouncing between about five different assistants in two different offices. I know the names of all their assistants and they know mine.
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A friend of mine (Steve Cohen!) told me this early on and it really stuck with me. The point is, don’t let one employee’s “no” discourage you. If the front door is locked, try the back door; if the back door is locked, try the side door; if the side door is locked, try to get in through the window. If you cannot do this, wait a while and try to open the front door again. This time someone can answer!
What does this front door/side door/window detail really mean? I’m talking about ways like a publicist, an agent, an employee, someone who once did business with that person, a friend of a friend…
I rarely had to deal with just one employee and one door. When someone repeatedly ignored or rejected me, I moved on to the next person and acted as if nothing had happened – I didn’t mention that I had been ignored or rejected before. (In most cases, your target didn’t even see your request and the employee rejected it.)
If you don’t get a specific no, try again. For example, if you get a message that says, “Unfortunately, he can’t participate right now,” take the word “now” literally and follow up later.
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No one reacts well to the “attitude” of strangers. This kind of behavior will only make you feel abandoned or outright persecuted. (It can also give you a bad reputation.)
If you receive what you think is a final rejection, lose gracefully and thank the person who considered your application.
For example, don’t complain about calling five times. If you are sending a follow-up email email someone who ignored you, don’t forward the old email letter. Send a new email email (or send your previous email) as if it had never been sent.
This allows your contact to save face if they choose to respond, and allows the person to respond without making excuses for ignoring you in the past.
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Get to the point quickly. Remember how busy everyone is; nobody has time to sift through paragraphs to figure out what your email is about.
I learned this lesson in 1993. during the summer when I worked as a real estate agent. When clients decided they wanted to rent the apartment I had just shown them, I was told not to let them out of my sight until the deposit was paid. Why? Simple: If I let them go and “come back to me tomorrow” they might reconsider their decision. So I was literally sending my clients to the bank before they paid the deposit. The same with networks. If someone responds to your query, be quick and respond immediately. You have to get the ball rolling before they forget about you and move on to something else.
My interview with Warren Buffett was scheduled for 10 minutes. It drove me from New York to Omaha.
Warren said before the meeting that he didn’t want me to take his picture. I told him I had to take it, but assured him it wouldn’t cut into my time with him, joking in the mail, “…even if it’s a picture of you that got away from me.”
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I photographed Warren as soon as I walked through his office door, and our interview lasted about an hour. Check out his full essay here.
My subject was the architect Frank Gehry. I sent a few blind inquiries to the email listed on his company website. postal address. The good news is that I wasn’t completely ignored; the bad news is i got rejected both times.
A few months later I found out about my friend’s father’s new girlfriend (read that relationship twice and I get it
Connection might be a good connection) knew Frankie and agreed to pass on my request. She sent him my request twice and was completely ignored both times!
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After a few months, I thought I’d give it another try (after all, emails are free and you never know!), so I sent another email to his company email. email address and miraculously I got a reply! I can only assume there was a new assistant at work that day.
I immediately texted him, got his name, and asked if I could send him samples of my Gehry work. Again, strike while the iron is hot: I was out at the time, so I had my cat sitter overnight to feed him the stuff.
I called the office to see if he had received it; remember that talking on the phone makes the connection more personal. He showed my material to Gehry, he said yes, and we made an appointment!
But it is
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